Kids + Verbal Skills: A Quick Primer

Developing your kid's verbal skills is one part of communication; music, facial expressions, connection are a few more ways.

Pop quiz! Define each term and explain how each is distinct from the other:

• Language

• Speech

• Verbal Skills

• Communication

Answers:

Verbal Skills - Using words to communicate (spoken, written, signed, pictured) Speech - Using sounds (or a sound system) to communicate

Language - The system for using sounds (speech) and words (verbal skills) to communicate.

Communication - Using all the modalities (words, speech, language, facial expressions, emojis, intonation etc) to share information

How did you do?

The First Three Years

Verbal communication is extremely complex. It takes years to learn and more years to get good at.

In fact, for the first three years we're just getting a grasp on how to use words.

To be completely honest, this might only make sense in my head. But when I think about milestones I don't focus on specific details about word development. I think about the arcs of each year. Here's what it looks like:

Year 1 (0-12 months)	word (single words)
Year 2 (12-24 months)	word + word (2-word combos)
Year 3 (24-36 months)	word word word. (lots of little sentences)

Year 1 (up to age 1): We're just getting them to use their first word before they turn 13 months old.

Year 2 (up to age 2): We're doing two things: 1. growing their vocabulary (90% of kids have 50 words by 24 months) 2. Helping them to combine words into their first "sentence". They're not just labeling the world; they're learning to convey ideas. It's not just "mama" anymore. Now they're starting to say, "mama come."

Year 3 (up to age 3): More words and longer word combos so they can ask and answer questions.

My method is so simplified. See ASHA for more detailed explanations of skill expectations.

But sometimes a simple method helps a parent see their child's communication more clearly.

Your 1 year old only has 5 words? Maybe fine if they're closer to 12 months. Maybe more concerning if they're closer to 24.

Your 2 year old's not talking? Call a speech therapist. They should be combining words.

Your 3 yr old is talking! But says "dat" and "mine" grabs things instead of asking for them, and seems to use gestures and pointing more than words? Probably worth an evaluation.

Non-Verbal vs. Non-Speaking

A person who is non-speaking  may still be verbal (because verbal means using words to communicate) but unable to speak in some or all contexts, or may benefit from speaking support. A person who is non-verbal may rely on other means of communication like gestures, sounds, pictures, body language. Many in both categories rely on AAC systems (sometimes only in specific contexts and sometimes across all contexts). Others use sign language. And many use a combination of communication modalities.

When an Autistic person, for example, is referred to as "non-verbal" it's typically inaccurate and undermines the communication skills and abilities they do have.

Plenty of people in the world have complex communication needs and or communication disorders and disabilities.

And typically our communication needs and abilities vary by context.

Traveling to another country, we might use all kinds of AAC methods–facial expressions, gestures, google, pictures, writing–to communicate.

How many of us hate talking on the phone? Some of us prefer to text. We use emojis–little picture icons–in place of words.

Communication is a 2-way street and speaking is only one way to get across.

Now that you know about verbal skills, let's look at your child's first words.